I failed my “Half Pint” today. The nursery was closed during church today, so she got to stay upstairs for “big church.” She was excited; I was worried – squirmy four year-olds and long, quiet church services don’t usually go well together.
All was going swimmingly. She sang the hymns (or at least a few words of the hymns) at the top of her lungs. She closed her eyes firmly and pressed her hands tightly together during silent prayer time. She clanked the contents of her coin purse into the offering plate when it passed her by. She sat still and quietly through the sermon. I couldn’t have imagined things going so smoothly.
Communion time. Pastor Annette gives her normal spiel: Something like…“This is the blood that was shed for us … this is the body of Christ …” I’ve heard it so many times, I’m sad to admit, I barely pay attention to the words anymore … When the bread was passed, Half Pint took a rather large portion from the loaf, held it a minute, and looked up at me, with the widest of eyes, looking a bit fearful, “Mommy, is this really Jesus’ body?”
Who knew she was actually listening, taking in what was being done and what was being said? I was just so pleased that she wasn’t talking loudly, crawling under the seats, or running up to her Daddy while he led the hymns, that it hadn’t even dawned on me that she might truly be paying attention to the service…
What do I say to her? How do I answer her question? Do I try and explain the complex idea of symbolism? Do I begin a discussion about the Catholic and Protestant views on sacraments? What do I say to that sweet, shocked looking face of hers?
Instead, I failed her. I took the easy way out. I took advantage of the quiet of the service and whispered into her ear, “We can talk about it later.”
Later will come. I know it will. It will come at bedtime, as I tuck her in for the night. When later comes, I hope I give the right answer, enough of an answer. I hope I can explain the “Bread of Life” to a four-year old, in four-year old terms. I hope I don’t fail her, again, tonight.
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2 comments:
Erika, I truly wish that I could tell you in words how much it means to me that you are here. Here in this silly computer being the best friend a friend can be. You, my dear, have been sorely missed.
Re: Half Pint, you did not fail her this morning. In the midst of the communion is probably not the right time to share the mysteries of God and of communion. But, you will find the time and the words. That's a promise. We believe in princesses, don't we? For now, it's just magic.
That's what friendship is sometimes, too. Magic. Thank you. Your words truly brought me some healing tonite.
And I L.O.V.E. that Rob is still leading those hymns.
~kJ
It's just amazing what the little ones pick up especially when you think they are not listening!
Love,
Amanda x
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